Post by misterlane on May 28, 2008 13:40:44 GMT 1
I like this, it's got a hip-hop vibe to it flows well with just one or two little blips. a couple of dodgy rhymes there holding it together but that gives it a charm. "Irate" is a word that you only ever hear in rap music. Middle stanza I really like though.
The penultimate line seems a weak point to me, looks a little arbitrary, and not in keeping with the themes.
The penultimate line seems a weak point to me, looks a little arbitrary, and not in keeping with the themes.