Comedy Open Mic?

[Marcus]

Since being in Norwich I've been able to indulge in stand-up comedy; an idea I'd been flirting with for a while. Which was nice, because there are a plethora of Open Mic nights devoted to that. There's as much activity here comedy-wise as there is in Belfast poetry-wise.

Now, as far as I can tell, there's not much opportunity for stand-up in Belfast. Hollywood informed me that there is a comedy open-mic night at the Black Box on sundays, but I haven't been able to find any more info about that. I'd be quite interested in unleashing my material on a different (minded) audience and generally a different location, rather than doing the same material on the same circuit. Also, it's to ensure that I don't suffer from comedic withdrawal over the summer before I head off back to England.

Does anyone know of any such nights in Belfast/N.I.? Has anyone been to them? Etc etc? Or has anyone tried stand-up? Or wanted to?

[colindardis]

Hollywood might be referring to the Fresh Meat night, I'm not sure that still runs anymore. The Knights is your best bet for stand-up opportunities I guess, but I'll ask about and see. I wouldn't do stand-up, I haven't got the posture.

[Brian Bailey]

I think the Empire still does one on Tuesday nights.

www.whatsonwhen.com/sisp/index.htm?fx=event&event_id=152009


check it out

[Marcus]

Hmm, I had always assumed the Empire night was for comedians who had a bit of clout, I.E. done a comedy festival or two and thus justify the £6 ticket. Then again, I've done gigs where there has been a similar price tag, but I keep in mind that they are robbing bastards. I'll have a look into it, thanks!

[Brian Bailey]

To the best of my knowledge they have some system to let locals or newcomers have a go. A bit like open mic. You'd have to check it out but that's my understanding marcus. Good luck and leavem rollin in the aisles.

[Administrator]

I've a guys number I can pass you, he's looking to do stuff at white's tavern. I'll text you it on saturday when I get phone credit.

[Marcus]

That sounds pretty cool, thanks Gerard.

[Brian Bailey]

Here are some gags the redoubtable Dave Smylie assailed me with a while back Marcus. Why not givem a run? Alternatively, have your daily giggle at them.




> Subject: FW: MODERN DAY TOMMY COOPERISMS
>
>
>
> >I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it.
> >I thought, "That's Aboriginal."
> >
> >This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was
> >a turtle disaster.
> >
> >I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I
> >said, "No, permanent."
> >
> >I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do
> >you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
> >
> >I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a
> >Volkswagen with no driver.
> >
> >Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went
> >T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in
> >my hand."
> >
> >I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best
> >Before End'
> >
> >I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No,
> >just a watch."
> >
> >I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke
> >said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he then?"
> >
> >My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.
> >
> >I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels."
> >He said,"You've got cholera."
> >
> >I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name,
> >it's P something T something R.
> >
> >I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
> >
> >I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just
> >went on and on.
> >
> >The recruitment consultant asked me "What do you think of voluntary work??
> >I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
> >
> >I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.
> >I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this
> >is for the custard."
> >
> >This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.
> >He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."
> >
> >I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?"
> >I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you
> >anything."
> >
> >I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip
> >outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!"
> >
> >This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
> >
> >I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes
> >first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"
> >
> >I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a
> >cat in there.
> >
> >I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced
> >on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting
> >on two counts.
> >
> >I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said "Eurostar".
> >I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
> >
> >I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do
> >the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays
> >or Thursdays."
> >
> >I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant
> >Man?" He said, "He's not your type." I said "Can I borrow Batman Forever?"
> >He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

[silverfox]

the comedy nights on tuesday in the empire are closed over the summer... (cause of people buggering off on holiday and students going home) so you'll be out of luck there. yes the fresh meat was what I was referring to.

[Marcus]

Oh dear. Any idea specifically when it closes for summer?

[silverfox]

end of june until start of september usually.

[Marcus]

Might still be in with a chance, I'm back in town around the 7th. Thanks Stephen!

[gerard]

Hey Marcus sent you a PM.

[silverfox]

Hey Marcus, just a few things to ask...

1. Are you ever gonna reconsider doing the whole comedy thing again if you got a different location?

2. Have you checked out that place in the odyssee that appears to be advertised heavily in the Bel Tel?

3. Did ya ever get back in touch with the guy who took over the other event at Safehouse???

[Marcus]

1. Yes, I'd be interested in starting something up again in a different venue.

2. No, I haven't. From what I've heard it's expensive and nothing special. I feel about it the same way as I do towards The Empire; doesn't suit too well to amateur/budding comedians. Plus, lowest common denominator tends to rule. If it didn't happen down the road or doesn't involve some cultchie bullshit, then you can forget about it.

3. Yes, and he discontinued it due to various gig/venue issues which I'm not going to disclose publicly.

As it stands, there's The Empire and the Pavilion Comedy Night. I found when running Voicebox there was a certain degree of reluctance and a lack of commitment/interest/professionalism going around (much like the poetry scene) and that itself put me off, when it serves to do nothing else but backstab and spread bad blood. At the moment, I'm concentrating on a couple of poetry-related projects, but a return to comedy a few months down the line wouldn't be entirely unwelcome. Unless there's a massive change in Belfast/NI (or if any opportunities come up), I will not be actively pursuing it and will maintain my opinion that here is not a good place to cultivate decent* comedy.

*Comedy, as with most things, is relative, but you only have to flip on the box to see utter shite like The Blame Game to see that Northern Irish comedy is fucking dire. The sadder thing is, this type of comedy (as far as I have seen) is not that hard to see at live events in Belfast, which is something that puts me off. Until comics feel less afraid to talk about something that doesn't happen in their back yard, then I have limited interest in performing comedy.